As stated in my previous post, when I hang out with my Korean friend(s), I end up sleeping in weird places or situations.  I was right.  This is by far the strangest one to date.  To make it short, as I understand that what readership I may have most likely will not want to read a long diatribe on the night, which on the whole was rather tame. So here it is in precis:

My friend’s girlfriend broke up with him.  He was a wreck.  Emotionally crushed.  He did what most men do, and drank.  It helps.  Like a good friend I helped him and was his drinking buddy.  Its not an easy job, as I didn’t really want to get drunk, but duty called.  Anyway, he claimed he wanted to and I quote “catch a girl”.  Sorry to all the ladies out there.  He was wearing blinders.

His attempts failed which brought us to a creepy alley and eventually a red light district.  I said before that never in my life had I been to a red light district till I came to Seoul.  Now I have been to two.  I digress:  I wanted to go.  I knew where this was going.  I didnt want to be part of it.  I enjoy not having the clap.  I told him I was going and he became upset. Belligerent.

When ended up at a massage parlor which also doubled as a whore house, but that second part is optional.  Actually both are optional.  I planned on getting ONLY a massage.  But as I sat in the room at 5am drinking the free cup of coffee, I started to get really nervous at all the possibilities.  I could literally have sex with a women with no baggage whatsoever. I could ask her to do anything.  Even just a happy ending. I needed to calm down.  My heart was racing.  My head wouldn’t shut up.  I laid down on the massage bed.  Oh Christ.  Next thing I know I wake up.  Its 1 in the afternoon.  Nothing happened.  I was relieved.

I walked downstairs.  I think they forgot about me.  Lucky me… maybe.  The guy kinda freaked out.  I tried to tell him I never got my massage but he played dumb and I was dumb—I don’t know enough Korean.  I walked outside,  feeling odd to even exit the building, though nothing happened.  There was a park across the street with kids playing.  I lit a cigarette and walked home. A long shower.